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View Full Version : How a pizza ALMOST killed me.


Crumbles
11-01-2004, 09:17 PM
Fuck the slogan "Say no to drugs" it should have been modified for me: "Say no to frozen pizza."

So I go to eat a tasty frozen Red Baron pizza today. Sounds like a simple task, right? WRONG. Apparently this was a skill that I should have become a master of long ago, yet it almost ended my life today. Seriously. How close, try about 2cm to the right.

You know how frozen pizza's are wrapped up with plastic? I guess to protect the frozen pizza from touching the box...who knows. Anyway, I stick a SUPER FUCKING SHARP KNIFE in the plastic to cut it so I can remove it.

Now if you will picture my left hand on the left side of the pizza, as I go to cut it with my right hand, and then picture me slicing the knife towards the left, that was how it happened. The super sharp fucking knife (which is what I now call it) went right through the plastic, and right into... where? My fucking wrist. Of all fucking places, my fucking wrist. Now I have a knife sticking in my wrist, and I don't even know if I should pull it out in fear that this might make the situation worse. I end up taking the knife out, and control the bleeding. I went to the hospital, and they fixed it up pretty good, but I took a picture of the battle wound before I went. Anyway, fuck knives, and fuck frozen pizza.... actually, some pizza sounds pretty good right about now... hrm...

The picture doesn't really do it justice. There was an actual fucking hole in my wrist. I could literally look inside my wrist.

In the third picture I outlined my veins that if I had hit, I would have been in real fucking trouble.

nagger
12-10-2004, 10:40 AM
dang that sux... coulda been worse lol :p

Hawkeye
12-10-2004, 11:38 AM
Hahaha, that's great. She's the only one on this board that cared that you almost died.

Oh man, I have tears in my eyes.... *sigh*

Crumbles
12-10-2004, 12:01 PM
Hahaha, that's great. She's the only one on this board that cared that you almost died.

Oh man, I have tears in my eyes.... *sigh*
Laugh it up Hawkeye! :D

nagger
12-11-2004, 09:12 AM
who said i cared i was just being nice! lol... and you were bitching about your old lady with the mac-n-cheese and hot dogs??? you couldnt even open up pizza without trying to commit suicide.... hehe!

Crumbles
12-13-2004, 02:04 PM
who said i cared i was just being nice! lol... and you were bitching about your old lady with the mac-n-cheese and hot dogs??? you couldnt even open up pizza without trying to commit suicide.... hehe!
Ya know, I've been thinking and thinking of something to come back to that comment with, but I just can't...

It's a really good point that I hope she never figures out herself...

nagger
12-14-2004, 11:48 AM
point for me! im just soo smart without a tv to rot my brain! haha... someone should tell her :P

Crumbles
12-14-2004, 12:09 PM
...someone should tell her :PNEVER!

Hawkeye
12-14-2004, 12:19 PM
point for me! im just soo smart without a tv to rot my brain! haha... someone should tell her :P

Don't worry, I'll be down in Atlanta for X-mas. I'll tell her!

Crumbles
12-14-2004, 12:24 PM
Don't worry, I'll be down in Atlanta for X-mas. I'll tell her!
Dude, I've seen thimbles that have a better memory than you. You're so going to forget...

Hawkeye
12-14-2004, 01:19 PM
Dude, I've seen thimbles that have a better memory than you. You're so going to forget...

Not if I email her.....

Crumbles
12-14-2004, 02:07 PM
Not if I email her.....
HAHAHA, that one was pretty fucking funny!!!

Boy
12-14-2004, 03:09 PM
Ahaa! But you forgot something, I have the memory of an elephant. Double sucker!!

Hawkeye
12-14-2004, 03:13 PM
Ahaa! But you forgot something, I have the memory of an elephant. Double sucker!!

Don't worry bro, I plan to beat that money out of him when I get down there. No more of this "Dude, I'll mail you a check" bullshit. It's going to be punches to the face every day he conveniently "forgets".

nagger
12-14-2004, 04:48 PM
you know if i wouldnt have mentioned anything no one would have figured it out! TELL HER TELL HER!!!!! MUAHAHAHA! GO BOY! GO HAWKEYE!

Crumbles
12-14-2004, 05:44 PM
Don't worry bro, I plan to beat that money out of him when I get down there. No more of this "Dude, I'll mail you a check" bullshit. It's going to be punches to the face every day he conveniently "forgets".
Pshh... every punch = -$1 !

Crumbles
03-18-2005, 06:58 PM
Dude, I've seen thimbles that have a better memory than you. You're so going to forget...
And forget Hawkeye did ...

Bailey de Mittens
07-28-2005, 10:26 PM
Hello Crumbles.....

Hawkeye
07-28-2005, 11:30 PM
Hello Crumbles.....Dear Matt, Happy Easter!:burn2:

lightfungus
07-29-2005, 12:16 AM
Ahaha.

Crumbles
07-29-2005, 06:36 PM
Dear Matt, Happy Easter!:burn2:Revenge is such a sweet thing. Such a sweet thing.

Bailey de Mittens
07-29-2005, 07:43 PM
Revenge is such a sweet thing. Such a sweet thing.

oh, and I am just smiling!

Neruos
01-10-2006, 01:30 PM
And the Darwin award goes to....

Hawkeye
01-10-2006, 01:31 PM
And the Darwin award goes to....Dude, you don't know the half of it. Matt and I have done plenty of stupid things together that really should have gotten us killed.

Matt, you can tell the Dump Truck vs. Acorn story.

Crumbles
01-10-2006, 01:35 PM
Dude, you don't know the half of it. Matt and I have done plenty of stupid things together that really should have gotten us killed.

Matt, you can tell the Dump Truck vs. Acorn story.Pshh...that caddy wasn't even a contest ...

Neruos
01-10-2006, 01:43 PM
wtf acorn!

gnd1976
01-10-2006, 01:59 PM
actually did something similar to myself trying to open up one of those Columbia House DVD boxes....."Super fucking sharp knife" jammed into the palm of my hand below my thumb......Bled like a bitch too! I feel your pain!

Neruos
01-10-2006, 02:00 PM
And the Darwin award runner up is....

gnd1976
01-10-2006, 02:46 PM
I'd like to start by thanking the academy......

Neruos
01-10-2006, 02:49 PM
I'd like to start by thanking the academy......

Are you a milf ?